Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I found the match to the glove you set aside for me when we moved out. You know, the one that I brushed off and mocked you for saving. I asked you what I was going to do with one glove. I tried to make you feel stupid for going out of your way to return it to me. I didn't want any favors from you. I was sick of you trying to make it up to me. There is nothing you could do or say to change anything that happened.

It's been almost a month since we've spoken. I see you've given up. This would have been our third New Years together. I stopped checking up on you via facebook. Your "This is my year..." and "I have the greatest friends" updates just added to the hate I still feel for you. This is not your year, this is my year. You had your years and you wasted them.

I'm trying to let my bad habits die, but it's hard. Doubts are creeping in every crack of my relationship. But he's understanding and is so quick to let things go. I wish some of that easy going-ness would rub off on me.

I hate that I miss you.


littlesack said...

thanks for stopping by my blog.

sorry about your relationship (or non-relationship woes). =(
maybe you should take a bottle of wine to the face too?!

Miss Em said...

Wow, Lyla. That even made me a little teary. Hang in there, babe. It's totally your year x

Anonymous said...

I think there's some people you always miss, no matter how far in the past they are or how much you move on.
It sounds like the new guy is understanding and the kind of person who can help you through you fears and doubts, hang in there xx

So@24 said...

Brilliant title for a post.

Anonymous said...

I think a glove is a great example and metaphor for how little things can have so much magnitude and emotional baggage. This entry makes me so sad.

I know what you mean seeing his "This is my year..." updates on facebook. Maybe I'm bitter, but I can't stand the thought that my ex might be happier than me after he already took so much happiness from me.

almost loved said...

I miss someone too. But just like you, this will be my year!

Paula said...

Oh babe, I know the feeling. Just try not to let the idiot get you down - easier said than done now, I know. Stopping checking his shit is the first step, trust me!

Saskia said...

Glad you found my blog!

That was a heart-wrenching post. I hope that each day that passes gets easier for you. By the sounds of it you've found someone new & understanding. Hopefully the someone new will start making you forget the someone old :)

Saskia x

Sarcastica said...

Oh Lyla, this made me sad :( very heart breaking, and beautifully written.

I'm glad you've found someone who understands you, hang on tight! Well, not too tightly...but you know what I mean!

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