Friday, December 25, 2009

More to say

I often find myself logging into my old blogger account with a million things I need to get out of my head. I just never really fell in love with this new blog. Change just feels hard for me.

I had a rough year. I moved in with a friend who turned out to be a heroin addict. I moved again.. into (my not so new anymore) boyfriends condo. I had to give up my bunny. I found him a great home with a family with kids that will love him but I still feel like a failure. I still have Nahla. She has matured into an amazing dog. It was a puppy I wanted all along and I never should have tried to replace that need with a bunny.

I'm trying to get back to this. It helps that Santa brought me a new HP mini.

Happy Holidays!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Sometimes I wish...

I smelled like high ceilings, mustiness and retro fashion.

that my boyfriend was younger

that I was younger.

I feel so rushed. It scares me that I may never in my life live alone.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I found the match to the glove you set aside for me when we moved out. You know, the one that I brushed off and mocked you for saving. I asked you what I was going to do with one glove. I tried to make you feel stupid for going out of your way to return it to me. I didn't want any favors from you. I was sick of you trying to make it up to me. There is nothing you could do or say to change anything that happened.

It's been almost a month since we've spoken. I see you've given up. This would have been our third New Years together. I stopped checking up on you via facebook. Your "This is my year..." and "I have the greatest friends" updates just added to the hate I still feel for you. This is not your year, this is my year. You had your years and you wasted them.

I'm trying to let my bad habits die, but it's hard. Doubts are creeping in every crack of my relationship. But he's understanding and is so quick to let things go. I wish some of that easy going-ness would rub off on me.

I hate that I miss you.

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